Humorous Best Man Speech Essay - 1384 Words

Humorous Best Man Speech Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Firstly on behalf of the bridesmaids, I would like to thank the groom for his kind words, and may I also say that they have done a fantastic job today and all of them look absolutely beautiful. Id also like to say that the bride looks absolutely stunning today as I’m sure you will all agree. Unfortunately for the wedding photographs, the groom just looks stunned. When I was asked to be best man I consulted the Internet for help. I must confess I was perplexed by some of the things I was expected to do: Help the groom dress. Thanks, but no thanks. If he hasnt learned by nor then he never will. That his shoes are tied. That his face and hair are â€Å"in order† (God†¦show more content†¦His teenage years can be defined as several years of drinking and sleeping in the bathroom, cuddled up to the toilet bowl. It’s good to know that some thing never change. At school, he tried many sports to no avail. When he tried rugby he was told his tackle was not big enough. He tried cross country running but could not stand the pace and when it came to soccer he was useless in every position. Whether the bride can confirm those three things for us I dont know, but I hope she has more luck. Now, of course, I’m not the only person in this room that he knows well. In fact, this place is stuffed with people that have an opinion of him. So, I thought it would be an idea to find out what some of you think of the groom. and share your thoughts at his wedding. Over the last few weeks Ive been approaching his friends and colleagues. This is what just a few of you said. His boss (and I can quote him now as hes not here) said: Working with him is like working with a God. Hes rarely seen, hes holier than thou, and if he does any work its a bloody miracle...† Another absent colleague, rang me the other day and said: Hes really looking forward to the wedding, and especially the honeymoon, he’s been going on about it all week. One thing I can’t understand though, is why hes taken to wearing fake tan to the office.† Unfortunately, he has also been described by someoneShow MoreRelated Humorous Wedding Speech by the Best Man Essay684 Words   |  3 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech by the Best Man When Daniel came to me and asked me to be his best man, it was a great honour but, when I looked at all the duties required of me, I felt he’d be better off choosing someone else. Then he offered me a fifty, but I told him that it wasn’t a decision that money could change. So then he offered me a hundred. Anyway, good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - My name is Rob and it’s my pleasure to be Daniels best man today. So let me tell you about all thoseRead More Humorous Best Man Speech Essay examples1972 Words   |  8 PagesHumorous Best Man Speech The hotel management have asked me to ask you not to stand on the tables or chairs during the standing ovation at the end of my speech. Now, I asked around for an idea of how long my speech should last, and the general response was about as long as it takes the groom to make love. So with that in mind, thank you, you have been a wonderful audience. (Sit and then get back up) I think an introduction is worthwhile. For those of you who do not yetRead More Humorous Best Man Speech for Two Best Men Essay1144 Words   |  5 PagesHumorous Best Man Speech Written for Two Best Men Best man 1: Good evening everyone. I must warn you we are both pretty nervous about doing this speech. We have spent many a night awake, trying plan it to no avail. We were both so nervous about doing this speech we asked the groom for some advice on how to prepare for talking to a large audience. Best man 2: So he did. He told us to imagine that you are all naked, so if you dont mind, we are going to give it a go. (Stares, winks at people) Read More Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Essay1000 Words   |  4 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I am the grooms father, Ken, and I have the great privilege of being best man. I have recently found out there are two reasons why J W asked me to do this job. 1) To make him look younger and slimmer in the photos. 2) Because he didnt want to burden any of his friends with the terrible prospect of having to give this speech. Its the speech that no one wants to do. The best man doesnt really know whatRead MoreA Commentary on Luckys Monologue in Waiting for Godot1559 Words   |  7 PagesPuncher and Wattmann it is established beyond all doubt that in view of the labors of Fartov and Belcher left unfinished for reasons unknown of Testew and Cunard left unfinished it is established what many deny that man in Possy of Testew and Cunard that man in Essy that man in short that man in brief in spite of the strides of alimentation and defecation wastes and pines wastes and pines wastes and pines and concurrently simultaneously what is more for reasons unknown in spite of the strides of physicalRead MoreA Wedding Speech By The Maid Of Honor And The Best Man1750 Words   |  7 Pageswedding, a wedding speech is given by the maid-of-honor and the best man. These speeches are used to thank the parents for arranging the wedding and the guests for coming. The main purpose of the speech, however, is to wish the newly married couple all the happiness and luck with their marriage. While wishing the couple a happy marriage, the speaker includes anecdotes about the newlyweds, showing how strong the relationship between the bride or groom and the speaker. In Jenna Haas’s speech to Jillian DouwsmaRead More Today’s America Versus World War II America Essay1307 Words   |  6 Pagesculture and society is manifested in, Howie Carr’s â€Å"Take $2000 and Call Me in the Morning† and Ronald Reagan’s speech, â€Å"The Boys of Point du Hoc†. Carr’s â€Å"Take $2000 and Call Me in the Morning† illustrates and criticizes the abuse of legal defense by citizens of the United States of America and how people feel like they are entitled to a lot of things. In contrast to that in Ronald Reagan’s speech, â€Å"The Boys of Point du Hoc† takes us back to a time back in American history where people fought and diedRead More Humorous Wedding Speech – Reasons I Admire the Groom Essay606 Words   |  3 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech – Reasons I Admire the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I’m not an experienced public speaker, so I find it easier just to read the speech word for word. In fact, I’ve practiced it almost daily for about a week and a half now, so that I know it very well. It’s a tip that I read in a book about public speaking. I’ve also been drinking profusely to help calm my pre-speech nerves. I made that tip up myself. Laughter Yes, I am a little nervous about being theRead MoreThe s Virtual Reality Research1686 Words   |  7 PagesAlice software project.2 Randy Pausch gave ‘The Last Lecture’ as a final speech to pass on wisdom that he believed could impact the world, as it was a tradition of retiring professors to do, before leaving Carnegie Mellon University. His speech was titled ‘Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams’, and he gave this speech on September 18th of 2007 at Carnegie Mellon University. His speech was later turned into a New York Times best selling book1, as well has receiving attention from television programsRead MoreEssay about The Importance of Mercutios Role in Romeo and Juliet1021 Words   |  5 Pagesa specific role. Mercutio, is essential to the play he is the Princes kinsman, but more importantly, he is Romeos best friend and confidant .Although Mercutio is Romeos closest friend he is very jealous of Romeo when Romeo is with other people. Mercutio brings humour and wit to the play which engages the audience. Mercutio is a typical young man of that period in the way that he is an honourable aristocrat, very independent and is free but on the other hand he isnt